1) My first paragraph is moderately clear, however, it seems quite confusing.
2) The thesis statement should be explain with more evidence,there isnt enough evidence
3) Organization seems to be clear enough, however, the main concepts do not seem relevent with the main idea of the whole thesis statement.
4)There are a few grammatical errors, and the tone of the essay seems moderately formal.
5) I think more source are needed for the essay to become more interesting and informational,there are no quotations in the essay
6) The paper's greatest strength is probably staying on the main concept of the thesis statement, but there is a lack in evidences.
Peer Review reviewed by Mollie:)
ReplyDelete1) Thesis statement isn't clear enough, there needs to have more details in her introduction. Break down the big sentences more simply for the reader.
2) Psychoanalysis of psychology? what does that mean?
3)Needs to be more specifice and less repetitive.